Well here I am. Sitting in a cafe in Sao Paolo, Brazil. Eating some local cheesy bread (Pao De Queijo) and drinking a cappuccino. Everyone is staring at me. Mostly because I look like the BFG. Also because I just caused a nuisance trying desperately to procure the WiFi password from a server who has many more important customers to deal with.
It's funny. Usually when I'm alone for too long I tend to become sad. I'm a total extrovert at heart and the last five years doing comedy and working as a wedding DJ have only heightened the degree to which I identify as a performer. I feed off of connections with other people, am constantly validated by them and it's the feeling that I'm making an impact that gets me through the day.
So naturally spending nearly six months traveling in foreign countries and being alone for a large chunk of it seems crazy right? Not so. Read on. Or don't. I didn't force you to be here. But if you want to understand why that "if this then that" equation doesn't even out, I encourage you to continue.
When a person immerses himself (yes I'll lead with the "him" pronoun as I'm talking about myself) into a new culture there is a degree of anonymity. When he embraces that anonymity - the realization that he has never been here, nobody here knows who he is and his being in this place doesn't have too great an impact - it's easy to put oneself in the backseat. The outsider's values, preferences and way of life slowly fade. And as a result, the outsider relinquishes his own way of going and can enter headfirst into the culture at hand. And hot damn is it hard to feel lonely once this happens, for the outsider is then validated by the perspective acquired through observing the very people existing before him!
I realize this sounds theoretical and easier said than done. Especially since it means taking the dishes one brings to the table and effectively smashing them in glorious fashion. But in a world where there are always walls between people, by destroying as much of the barrier I naturally bring as a foreigner and immersing myself as fully as possible, I'm able to realize my true goal of traveling - gaining perspective.
But can't one gain perspective from a film? Can't one just gain perspective from a single conversation? Perhaps. But I'm interested in a more lasting perspective shift - one that heightens my awareness of different cultures, one that blossoms the beauty of diversity and one that prompts me to embrace humility and keep my "problems" in perspective. Not to mention a perspective that I can bring back to America and continue to remind myself when I'm flat on my ass having zero luck getting a job in New York City.
I received my first heavy dose of the perspective pill when studying in Istanbul for six months. I became a junkie when I traveled through the Balkans by myself for two weeks. And it's this six-month trip that certifies me as a grade-a junkie. I feel high when I'm walking around a new city with people I've never seen speaking words I've never heard. I'm intoxicated when I'm looking at buildings and art whose influences I would never have imagined. And I feel truly alive when simply watching people live their lives.
Now for a radical shift in tone - I hate the idea of tourists. I hate what one of my favorite sociologists calls "the view from the veranda" - the idea that foreigners come into a new place and allow themselves only to get out of it exactly what they want to get out of it. These people do not listen. These people do not open their eyes or minds. There is no perspective shift. They are simply looking at life from the comfort of their air-conditioned car and validating themselves through it. I think most of the problems in the world come from people not listening to others, people unwilling to relinquish their desires and refusing to accept the ideas and lives of others as valued, important and necessary.
So yes, tourists are the reason we can't achieve world peace. Lol, not really but I think the lens through which these types of people approach the world is deeply problematic.
When traveling, I want to listen. I want to see the many angles of the city. I want to speak with the locals. I want to know if the dog being scolded behind me actually understands Portuguese better than me. I want to have my eyes opened and my mind blown.
I cannot escape the fact that I'm an American. I cannot escape from the fact that I was born and have lived my entire life in the place that created many of the cultural phenomena (skating, hip hop and Nike to name a few) that influence so many here in Brazil. I cannot escape the vanity, self-possession and ignorance so many associate with American people abroad. And, most importantly, I can't escape the fact that I'm six-five, long haired and white skinned. Okay, fine I can change the long hair part but I just don't want to, okay? My mom LOVES my hair.
But I can listen. I can try to understand. I can try and let my own preferences take a backseat. And I can embrace and celebrate a way of life that's different from my own.
I've only been here for 24 hours. And I already feel my worldview torn to pieces. Just the way I like it.
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Footnote 1: Subsequent posts will have more place/culture-specific focuses. For now, I just wanted to take a few minutes to inform you and remind myself why the hell I've made this crazy choice and what I'm already getting out of it.
Footnote 2: This blog is for processing and to get the words jumbling around in my head down on paper. Want to see pics? Hit up my instagram @MacDaddyGostow. You're welcome for that username. It's also available as a link at the top of the blog. More like FUNctionality! Okay, I'm done now...
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